| Dryden's Sex Puppet? |
[Jan. 15th, 2007|12:18 am] |
Hmm ...
The holidays were great! I put on 6.5 lbs in one month. The weather was beautiful, the family was fun and the food was delicious. Good times.
I guess I should start by wishing all the readers 'Happy New Year' although we're entering the third week of 2007 and it's not all that new anymore. I miss 2006 already. I enjoyed 2006 - a lot happened.
I can't remember all the things I blogged about, so I'm gonna do a summary of the major events:
1. The year didn't start out so well; I had a relapse over Christmas and was really sick. I eventually ended up getting additional surgery and spending several weeks in the hospital.
2. Tony and I had a MASSIVE fight and didn't speak for almost two months [the longest we've gone without speaking since I've known him].
3. I was hurt and frustrated that I was healing so slowly, I was scared because I was so sick, I was disgusted with my surgical scars, I was stupid and selfish and cheated on Dryden and he dumped me. I convinced myself it was for the best because Dryden is the most amazing person in existence and I thought he deserved better than a fucked up, continually ill boyfriend.
4. My laptop got jacked over the summer :(
Reading all that, 2006 doesn't seem all that great, but it was.
1. I appreciate my health in such a way that I would have been completely unable to had I not been sick. I am also capable of being a much more empathetic person to others after experiencing what it's like to be so vulnerable and dependent on others. I realized how truly wonderful my friends and family are - caring, understanding; they are an incredible support system. I love them so much and value everything they have done for me.
2. Tony is the closest person to me in this world. Our friendship is ... ridiculous. The capacity of my feelings for him are unparalleled.
3. Dryden ... I can't explain how deeply I want him, need him, love him. It's like a physical ache in my chest. He makes me feel like an undeserving asshole and the king of the world all at the same time. I've been dumb. It's taken me an excessively long amount of time to realize something so simple: I want him to be mine. I don't want anyone else because no one else can make me feel the way he does. [Before you all start cheering, we're not back together (sorry Michael). We're just talking and that's fine. Now that he's aware of my issues and knows firsthand all my problems, it's no surprise that he wants time. I'm not going to pressure him; I'll give him anything he wants.]
4. I still miss my old laptop and I randomly get depressed when I think about all the work I lost. BUT, the experience helped me go from only being a little anal retentive and slightly neurotic, to extremely OCD about security.
So, all in all, 2006 was a real growth experience and I truly believe I'm a much better person [although still far from perfect]. I've developed more patience, I learned that it's not a big deal to admit you're wrong, and I've found an inner calm. It's nice.
This is completely off-topic, but I got an email asking me to join something [not sure what]. I thought it was spam, except the email was addressed to 'Dryden's sex puppet'. Hmm ... So, I'm guessing it must be from someone who knows something about me.
I don't do New Years' Resolutions because I think they are unnecessary. The only thing I want in 2007 is really simple: to stay happy.
-Matt |
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| No Hay Igual |
[Dec. 22nd, 2006|06:30 am] |
Okay, I LOVE Nelly Furtado's new album. I thought 'Promiscuous' was the shit, but after hearing 'No hay igual' I'm not sure which I like more ['Say it right' is also very nice].
I'm back home right now. I bought a new camera [7.1 mega pixel Canon powershot] and I've taken hundreds of photos of my niece in three days. She's just so sweet and adorable and beautiful. I'm completely in love with her. She's the most incredible baby EVER! I'm not just saying that cause she's family, she really is. She turned one late last month. She's just started walking shakily on her chubby little legs and she makes the cutest noises [she can't talk just yet] - I just wanna gobble her up! I know I'm starting to sound crazy, but you have to see her to understand - her eyes, her smile, she's just a precious little charmer.
So, Tony is flying in tonight [he should get here in about 45 min - I called him at the airport]. He's spending Christmas with my family and it's gonna be awesome. I saw him four days ago and I've talked to him everyday since, but I still feel excited to see him.
Thanks to everyone who thinks I'm worthy of Dryden. I feel like I totally don't deserve him, but that won't stop me from pursuing him.
I've gotten some weird feedback about problems with the layout of the new site. I'll try and fix whatever's wrong.
I know this is highly unusual, but I haven't been able to get a hold of my editor. So, editor, if you're reading this, check your email.
I've been eating non-stop since getting home. There's just something about my mom's phenomenal cooking; she could make an anorexic fat and I'm no anorexic.
Not sure if I'll have time to update again before Christmas, so if not, then I just wanna wish everyone a Merry Christmas.
-Matt |
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| Sup, Matt? |
[Dec. 16th, 2006|08:32 am] |
Hey boys and girls,
I've been SO extremely busy with real life that I've hardly had time to write. That being said, I'm working on a new story and I've decided to undertake an exercise in discipline by updating chapters weekly. I want to try and post on a schedule. I'll keep you all informed on how that works.
In other news, I changed my website design again. It's all in green - my FAVORITE color! I love green. Something about it just makes me happy.
Dryden and I are talking again. We went out to dinner tonight. It went okay. At the end of our date, I tried to kiss him, but he wouldn't let me. I leaned in and he pulled back. He dissed me HARD  , but that's okay. I'm willing to suffer to get him back.
I was watching 'Lucky Number Slevin' the other day [I really like that movie] and I'm always amazed at how hot Josh Hartnett looks in the film. He's one hot killer.
I should be updating everything else in the new year. Prolly 'Unrequited' will be first.
-Matt |
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